Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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