New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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