I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
