there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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