Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
