How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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