she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
She told me I should be a condom model.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
