Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize