Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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