I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
