Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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