all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
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just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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