i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
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