i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
