well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize