You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize