i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
