Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
