Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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