and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
She even gives head with a lisp.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
We need a shit load of segways right now
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
