where am i from again
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
