They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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