They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
barbara walters just said penis...
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
