i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
