ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
