this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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