Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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