we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
