I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Do you have feelings for this penis?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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