I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
