i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
