I heard we made out
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Randomize
