I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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