Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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