I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
