I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
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