is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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