he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Never joke about your clitoris.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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