Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
