If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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