Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
