I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
