I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
