I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
