who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
