I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
