it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I have feelings that need drinking.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
