I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize