But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
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