he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize