why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
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