dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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