I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
