I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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