I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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