Pregnant stripper...not hot.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize