I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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