Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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