I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
