dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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