I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize